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'Miracle on Ice' Still Unrecognized By Vatican

ROME - For the twentieth straight year the Roman Catholic Church and Pope John Paul II have rejected the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Teams Gold Medal Victory as a bona fide miracle.

"Of course, it's disappointing," said teams captain Mike Eruzione. "At some point you begin to doubt yourself whether or not in fact there was divine intervention in that victory over the Soviets."

The Miracle on Ice has been controversial since TV Evangelist Al Michaels asked his viewers, "Do you believe in miracles?" when referencing the U.S. victory over the powerhouse U.S.S.R Red Army team in a medal round hockey game in 1980. His enthusiastic answer to his own question, "Yes!" converted millions to the hockey team's cause, testifying that their highly unlikely victory was indeed the result of divine intervention.

Anticipating papal validation of the event, the media quickly dubbed the event as the "Miracle on Ice". However, Michael's proclamation that a miracle had just occurred, as well as the media backing, had no authority with the Catholic Church whom must investigate all claims of miracles independently. This despite several million witnesses to the fact that the U.S. did indeed win the tournament.

Although the Roman Catholic Church investigates hundreds of claims of miracles each year, none received as much attention as this one. The Miracle on Ice appeared on magazine covers across the country and was the subject of a TV movie starring Karl Malden.

Recently, as well, as being one of the seminal sporting events of the century as well as it being the twentieth anniversary has focused new attention on the controversial games as the new decade approached.

Although the church has not officially denied that a miracle occurred, there seems to be little hope in the minds of many that it will ever get the official backing of the Pope. "I truly thought this would be our year. But now I am not sure it will ever happen," said the coach from that team, Herb Brooks.

For now, the moniker "Miracle on Ice" is still used, although unofficially. But as one unidentified insider confessed soon it may just be the "Unexpected Victory on Ice".

©2000 Copyright David Oliver. All Rights Reserved.
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.