MIAMI - Panther winger Pavel Bure may have wrapped up the NHL MVP this past weekend when he got engaged to tennis hottie Anna Kournikova. The NHL's leading goal scorer was already the leading candidate for the NHL's Hart trophy, awarded to the league's most valuable player, with 45 goals and the Panthers well into a playoff position after missing the post-season last year.
Kournikova, 18, currently competes on the WTA tennis tour and is widely considered one of the hottest babes in all of sports. Although she has yet to win a tournament, her stunning good looks have placed at the forefront of sports marketing and made her one of the most sought after female athletes in the world.
"Sure he was the most likely candidate, but now, I mean, wow, how can anyone else in the league compare with that? Getting married to an eighteen year old filly like Kournikova clearly makes him my MVP." commented Neil Smith, General Manager of the New York Rangers.
Kournikova seems to have a thing for hockey players as she had been romantically linked in the past with the Red Wings' Sergei Federov. But apparently Fedorov, fell out of favor when Bure was traded from Vancouver to Florida, near where Kournikova makes her residence. Bure is also two year's younger then Federov making him only ten years older the Kournikova and therefore making it that much less creepy to everyone.
When informed of the engagement teammate Ray Whitney said, "Really? Wow, that dude is unstoppable. I mean even if Jagr or Federov married Gabrielle Reese or - who was that chick on the soccer team? - I mean that would not even come close. And considering what he's done for the team, he is definitely the league MVP in my mind."
In fact, the Kournikova coup is such a fine achievement for any athlete that there is talk that Bure is also the early favorite for Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year.
However, some think it is premature to start giving out any awards before they actually get married. But according to Whitney that shouldn't matter, "He's freaking engaged to Anna Kournikova! Are you kidding me?"
©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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