LOS ANGELES - It is splitting up families and friendships all over Southern California: Who is your favorite basketball team, the Lakers or the Clippers? This week the Lakers may have won the battle of Los Angeles with a 123-103 victory over the Clippers, but the war itself still wages on.
Each side has plenty of ammunition: The Lakers sport the best record in the NBA, six NBA Championships, front-runner for league MVP, Shaquille O'Neal as well as a history of All-Stars like Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Jerry West, and Wilt Chamberlin.
The Clippers, however, can boast of cheaper more readily available seats for their home games then the Lakers. Add to that that the Clippers always are always highly competitive in the battle for the number one draft pick and leave their fans with extremely low expectations that are easily met and easily (although rarely) exceeded.
All these issues amount to a very tough choice for the Los Angeles basketball fan.
A typical case in point: brothers Alphonse and Jorge Guerrero of Monterey Park. Alphonse, as a Clipper fan was constantly going up against his year older brother Jorge a Laker fan. "It's fun most of the time, but it can get pretty intense. I mean, sometimes he is acting like he doesn't care about the Clippers, but I know he hates to see them challenging the Lakers in Los Angeles."
Jorge confirms that he "couldn't give a flying leap about the Clippers," but admitted that it bothered him that his brother was a Clipper fan. "What kind of an idiot roots for the Clippers. I mean they are only the worst team in all of sports history. And here are the Lakers, is that even a choice? My brother is an moron, it's that simple."
These are not just Jorge's sentiments, but the general thinking of all the Laker fans in Alphonse's life. This group includes his other brother, two sisters, mother, father, step-father, all of his grandparents, every uncle, cousin, neighbor, classmate, teacher, garbageman, mailman, bus driver, barber, doctor, dentist, priest, the guy with the eye-patch at the hardware store, and even his dog.
Who will eventually win this battle for basketball supremacy in Los Angeles? Will the Lakers with their tradition and talent prevail or the Clippers with their cheap seats? If the Guerrero family is any indication it is a question that may remain unresolved for many years to come.
©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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