CINCINATTI, OH - Local sports enthusiast Devon Trilling claims to have come within a hair's breath of reaching Nirvana last Monday when he passed through several stages of enlightenment along the path to total clarity on baseball's opening day. He came close to all understanding and awareness during the NCAA Men's Final basketball game, but eventually fumbled the chance.
Apparently Devon and his two friends, Larry Templeton and David Porter, had decided to make a full day of it for baseball's opening day. They first went to the Reds home opener at Cinergy Field where it is believed that Larry first realized the first four steps of the eightfold path to enlightenment, Right View, Right Thought, Right Speech, and Right Action.
"Oh yeah he was there all right," said Templeton. "Right about the third inning he got a dog and a brew and right after the first bite he said, "Oh what a great day, dog, beer, and baseball.' Then he mentioned that it didn't matter what the outcome was it was just a treat to be alive and then he tossed aside his scorecard and just started enjoying the game."
Porter added, "I had never seen someone move along the path so quickly and I thought for sure if this kept up Devon would be totally enlightened. A free of mind, his awareness at a peak. Y'know, Nirvana."
The journey experienced it's biggest obstacle when the threesome decided to go to Extra Innings, a new sports bar across from the stadium. The concern was that by skipping work to go to the game Trilling could not achieve Right Livelihood, but he managed to slide through this step when he called into work and was able to attend to some important details even in the middle of the day's excitement.
Steps Six and Seven, Right Effort and Right Mindfulness, came easily to Trilling as he was totally absorbed in the other opening day games on the myriad of TV's.
"Dude was on a roll. There were like five games on and he was on top of every single one of them. It's like he could just see everything. Clarity, man, I'm telling it was all clarity for him," said Porter.
The final step, Right Concentration, however proved to be elusive for Trilling when the NCAA Championship came on..
"Oh, I mean he was concentrating on the game. But then this sweet thing walks in and he is done. Forget the game, forget the brews," remarked Porter. "She messed him up. He was right there, awareness, calmness, the whole deal and he blew it."
Trilling's only comment was, "I didn't even get her number, how's that for enlightenment."
©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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