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Elian's Moral Dilemma: Marlins or Orioles?
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MIAMI, FL - In a startling home video released to the media, Elian Gonzalez for the first time expressed his preference for the Florida Marlins over the Baltimore Orioles. Original reports were that Elian had been a big fan of the Baltimore Orioles ever since their visit to Cuba a year prior. The grainy, and some say staged video, left many cold and accusing the Miami relatives of at best inappropriate behavior and at worst of psychological abuse of young Elian.
Through an interpreter, Elian's father Juan Miguel Gonzalez expressed his anger over the tape and said that it was even more proof that the U.S. government needed to act swiftly to take Elian away from his Miami relatives, before anymore "psychological damage was inflicted on the boy. The Marlins, c'mon, I may or may not be a Castro puppet, but honestly after they broke that team up after they won the World Series how could you stay loyal to them?"
Childcare experts were quick to agree with Juan Gonzalez, noting that the boy is at a critical stage where his most important baseball allegiances are formed.
"Watching the tape I got the impression that young Elian was putting on a show for the camera, I am not convinced that he believes or even knows what he is saying," commented Dr. Joseph Hyung. "This tape probably will backfire, as it seems to be just more proof that the boy belongs with his father and the government needs to act quickly in this regard."
Those arguments had little sway with the anto-Castro crowd gathered outside the home Elian's Uncle, Lazaro Gonzalez. "Elian's mother died so he could be a fan of the Florida Marlins. How can we deny him that simple human right that will certainly be denied him if he is returned to his father and taken back to Cuba?" asked Cuban exile Antonio Lorenzo
What seems to be less and less about the welfare of a small boy and more and more about baseball, will continue on without resolution for the time being. Cuban ex-patriates vowing never to give the boy up to the Oriole fan base up against a U.S. Government that insists that the law must be obeyed.
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Other Stories From This Issue
©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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