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Australia Gets Ready for the "Most Irrelevant Olympics Ever"
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SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - Organizers are already proclaiming the upcoming Summer Olympics in Australia as the "Most Irrelevant Olympics Ever". The declining relevance of the Olympics since the end of the Cold War have primed the way for this year's installment to be full of meaningless nationalistic overtones and for setting records for ambivalence.
"This year represents the first pure opportunity for sport to be separate from politics, making such events as Archery and Greco-Roman wrestling completely devoid of any interest or meaning whatsoever," gushed Sydney Organizer Willaim Tennyson.
Clearly if the lack of hype and interest leading up to the Summer Games is any indication, then this should be the least cared about Olympics since first Olympics in 1898.
U.S Olympic officials agreed, noting that finally the contrived interest in normally uninteresting or boring sports derived from strong political and ideological overtones would be absent. "I am sure Americans will want Americans to win, but actually they won't really care too much. At least that is our hope."
Although the Cold War ahas been over for almost a decade, it has taken this long for the lingering sociopolitical sub-text to completely remove itself from the competition. And as literary critic Janice Templeton explained, "There really is no compelling sub-textual meaning to the competition anymore. Without it the plotlines that made prior Olympics so interesting are left flat, creating at best only superficial tension and meaning."
Even Head of the IOC Juan Antonio Samaranch agreed, "When you have events and participants that folks in general know or care nothing about then it is far from interesting to watch. That is why a sub-plot that is broad and universal provides the needed contextual depth to make us care about the outcome of many of these otherwise meaningless events. Thankfully all that is now missing and we can hopefully carry off an Olympic Games in relative obscurity and with heightened disinterest."
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©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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