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NBA Sucks, According to Fourteen-Year-Old Suck Expert
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EMPORIA, KS - The NBA sucks according to Eric Williams, fourteen-year-old expert of suck. According to Williams the NBA sucks because it is boring.
Williams' declaration came during lunch period three at Emporia Junior High School North. Friend Brad Johnson had asked Williams and others at the table if they wanted to come watch the NBA playoffs at his house that evening. Williams then answered with his announcement regarding the NBA.
"Nah, the NBA sucks. It's boring."
According to Johnson, Williams suggested that instead of watch basketball the friends come to Williams house to play Playstation, which apparently does not suck.
"I'm no suck expert, but I think Eric is right on the money about this. The Playstation was much better then any sucky NBA game," admitted Johnson.
NBA Commissioner seemed a bit taken aback by the announcement, "I don't understand it, quite honestly. And he may be the expert, but my amateur opinion is that the NBA is quite the opposite of suck."
Stern pointed to the playoff excitement generated in cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Miami. He was also quick to point out the long list of players as recently being declared as rad by sixteen-year-old rad expert Christopher Lemments.
"Players like Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, and Vince Carter were just a few of the players deemed rad by Lemments," noted the Commissioner.
Lemments, however, was quick to point out that while he had said the particular players were rad, "I am not so sure about the NBA as a whole. The players may be rad and the league may suck, it's possible. Although I cannot really comment on the suck as I am no expert in that."
In the past Williams has declared many things as suck, such as the Backstreet Boys, last Sunday's episode of the X-Files, and his performance on a recent history exam. And this was not the first time he has applied his suck expertise to the world of sport. According to Williams the College Bowl Championship Series, Barry Sanders, and a referee's call in the Super Bowl all sucked. But this was his most broad suck observation, declarating the whole of the NBA as sucking.
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©2000 Copyright David Oliver
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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