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NHL Rejects Stars Do-Over Request
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RUTHERFORD, NJ - The NHL almost instantly rejected the Dallas Stars request for a do-over of game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals. The announcement came right after game 1, a game in which the New Jersey Devils embarrassed the defending Cup champions 7-3.
"A what? A do-over? No there won't be a do-over," announced League Director of Operations Colin Campbell immediately after the game when informed of the Stars request.
Naturally the Stars were not pleased. "We are disappointed that the league did not even listen to our side of the story", remarked Dallas Coach Ken Hitchcock. "Basically we weren't all that ready to play when they dropped the puck, especially our goalie, and we think it is our basic right of competition to get a single do-over in this case."
But the NHL was not receptive to the Stars, "I don't care what they think, there won't be a do-over. Are you guys pulling my leg or something? They lost and next is Game 2," an adamant Campbell declared. "This isn't the shinny pond here. This is a joke, right? Do-over?"
For the Stars, who now find themselves down after one game in the Cup Finals for the second year in a row, it is no joke. Stars General Manager Bob Gainey enumerated his arguments, "We were tired as a team and our goalie Ed Belfour was sick and taking cough medicine. I mean no one really asked us if we wanted to play that day. It was more like 'Ok, you guys are playing' like a mandate."
Gainey then threatened to hold his breath until he turned blue or the Stars were granted a do-over. However, this idle threat was ignored and Gainey never followed through, taking a breath well in advance of turning blue.
The Devils, naturally sided with the NHL, although Devils Defenseman Brian Rafalski was quick to add, "we'd whip them again," and then added, "Cry-babies."
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©2000 Copyright David Oliver, All Rights Reserved
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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