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Johnson, Mulhicki Still To Be Picked
Who will be last?
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CARSON CITY, NV - Preston Johnson and Maximillion Mulhicki are the last two second graders left to be picked to a team for kickball at Carson City Magnet Elementary. Anxiety between the two of them is running high in fear of being the last one picked.
The two captains, Geoffrey Livingston and Brian Dressler have already picked eight players each and it is up to Dressler to make the fatal decision that will brand one of the two remaining players as a complete outcast, moreso then they already are.
Certainly a rough choice for Dressler, as neither Mulhicki nor Johnson have much promise in adding any skill or ability to the team. Mulhicki's extreme lack of coordination and girlish screams make him completely unreliable anywhere on the kickball field. Meanwhile Johnson is hampered by a retainer and is easily injured making him deathly afraid anytime a ball comes near him.
This situation would not have arisen if traditional last pick, Terry Masterson, hadn't chipped his tooth yesterday playing dodge ball. That meant a new last pick would be chosen today, adding drama and a bit of pathos to the daily ritual of picking teams.
Dressler is receiving advice from his teammates, but the tough choice is making it difficult. Either way he isn't going to be happy. Meanwhile, Livingston is telling Dressler to "just pick someone" so they can start playing.
As for Johnson and Mulhicki, the best they can muster is plaintive looks that they hope convey the fact that they really, really, really don't want to be the last one picked. Without actually saying it, you can see in their eyes the fear of being labeled as last pick, if only this one time.
Schoolyard bullies are paying close attention to the situation as the last pick traditionally is moved up the bullies' pounding list and given priority for future swirlies and other humiliations.
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Other Stories From This Issue
©2000 Copyright David Oliver, All Rights Reserved
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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