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Local Man Watching too Much Damn Gymnastics
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RENO, NV - Local resident Trace Bedford is watching too much of the damn Olympic gymnastics coverage, according to his friends, family, and co-workers. Never a big fan of gymnastics before, the sudden and constant exposure to men's and women's gymnastics has apparently sent Bedford over-the-edge.
"I stopped talking to him," noted close friend Bruce Lipscombe. "We used to talk about football or baseball, but then the Olympics started and now I don't know what the hell he is talking about."
Trace's sister Madison is also fed-up, "We went to lunch the other day and the waitress brought me a Coke instead of a Diet Coke, not a huge deal, but then Trace says 'Oh, that's automatic one-tenth deduction, it could cost her the tip.' I mean what the hell is that all about?"
"I am having a hard time working with him," noted one of Bedford's co-workers at Fremont Paper, Barry Eckles. "For example, I was giving this presentation and I forgot an overhead with a graph on it. He told me that a missing element was going to cost me a half a point and that all my hard work and dreams were lost. I almost punched that jackass."
According to Psychologists Anne Craig the extended exposure to almost anything can lead to aberrant behavior such as that displayed by Bedford.
"Under the right circumstances anybody can find themselves locked into a certain mindset under constant stimuli, or in layman's terms they watch too damn much of something. The combination of Bedford's apparent limited social life combined with the overwhelming contextual-societal pressure associated with the Olympics have crossed Bedford's wires into thinking the gymnastics competition is of ultimate importance. The good news is that as soon as the gymnastics competition is over he should be back to normal, although it may take a week or two."
That may be too long for Lipscombe, "The problem is that I keep getting these one-tenth deductions for such piddly crap: shoe untied, forgetting to stop at the ATM machine before we went to the bar. They all add up, I am sure it will eventually cost me."
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©2000 Copyright David Oliver, All Rights Reserved
DISCLAIMER: These stories are not true. No really. It's all just a joke, you know for fun.
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